Chasing Sharks: Faster Than the Speed of Awesome

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(Not really, this blog is mostly dick jokes)

Posts tagged Tom Hanks

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I don’t know why people even try to have “lunch meetings”.  I’m putting that phrase in air quotes because it shouldn’t even be a thing!  You can talk business at lunch, but let’s be honest I’m not really listening.  Seriously, the moment we sit down pull into the parking lot I’m like:

Food, food, food! Oh yes, the economy! And money! And grown up things! But BREADSTICKS!

In reality, “lunch meetings” are mythical creatures that listen to NPR while digesting the blood of stale bagels and clones of Tom Hanks.  Doesn’t Tom Hanks just look like the guy who would love “lunch meetings”?  I’d be shoveling spinach artichoke dip in my mouth while double fisting two tubs of salsa and be all like, “Tom! Tom! Can we talk about how You’ve Got Mail, literally, changed my life? Also, what happened to Meg Ryan’s face?  She’s starting to resemble Billy Crystal from The Princesss Bride! Am I right Tom??” and he’d be all, “Hmm, I believe the Dow Jones Industrial average is peaking.”  I don’t even know what that means Tom!  When I think of Dow Jones peaking I think of a member of Lil’ Wayne’s entourage on meth. 

Filed under Tom Hanks Lunch Meetings