I’ve got nothing to say today so instead of attempting to be creative I thought I’d just post a picture of my dog.

I know I’ve talked about this before, but doesn’t he just look like a total murder?  I’m convinced if he were human my dog would be a serial killer.  He’d be like Jeffrey Dahmer with the charm and whimsy of Ed Gein in canine form. 

Every day I get home from work he looks at me with this face and I’m like “What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?! Is there a body in the basement I need to dispose of??” After some desperate searching of the house I discover that in actuality he ate all the cat food, which if possible, makes me even more angry than finding a dead body in the basement.  Cat food doesn’t grow on trees!  If it did I’d sleep every night on a bed made of money and use hundred dollar bills as a comforter.  I scold him about this every day, but he just doesn’t care. 

The other day I was peeing with the door open (What of it! I don’t need privacy!) and as I was staring happily out the window thinking about all the things I never accomplished in my life I suddenly sensed a presence to my left.  I turned and there Max stood like some sort of ghost ninja staring at me.  Where did he come from?  I have the hearing senses of a bat on meth whenever I’m in a bathroom because I’m high alert and don’t want to go out like Elvis.  Or even worse Janet Leigh in Psycho.  So I was shocked.  Do you know what it’s like to be peeing and happily releasing endorphines only to look up and find this staring at you: