I wrote a letter to Chelsea Handler a few months ago and that bitch never responded to me.  I haven’t been so upset about a celebrity ignoring my advances since I wrote Jason Priestly a fan letter back in elementry school telling him I’d like him to be the father of my future children and he never mailed me a vial of his sperm wrote back!  I would have given you my Peach Pit Jason! Your loss! (That’s a gross Beverly Hills 90210 reference but I don’t care)

At the time, I thought the letter I wrote to Chelsea was fucking hilarious, but now I feel like I come across as a slightly more insane version of Courtney Love.