Chasing Sharks: Faster Than the Speed of Awesome

I write important things about stuff
(Not really, this blog is mostly dick jokes)

10 notes &

Have you ever been eating a shitty Lean Cuisine chicken carbonara meal for lunch and the chicken is so hot you think about blowing on it, but you’re so fucking hungry you think “Fuck it! My mouth don’t know fear!” so you just shovel it in like a stray dog eating out of a dumpster and it just tastes like hot, liquid fire burning your gums and your tongue is so scorched you know it will feel numb and scratchy for days like you just gave head to a burlap sack full of mosquitoes and your mouth is in such an intense state of shock and fear that no matter how much hand waving and Lamaze type breathing you do nothing cools it so you resort to spitting the aforementioned chicken out into the palm of your head and blow hot steam onto it out of your burned throat to cool it and than plop it happily back into your mouth only to look up and see your boss staring open mouthed at you from your doorway?

Filed under Run on sentences Awkward

  1. feelthemonster reblogged this from stephjar and added:
    "…like you just gave head to a burlap sack full of mosquitoes…" Reason 439843902740982374029838340240402834 why you...
  2. stephjar posted this